Mikey Teacher, hard at work

field trip to the train museum.

다이노 코믹스

If you aren't familiar with Dinosaur Comics, please do so now.

At the behest of my Portland-pal Britta, I was directed to a page on Dinosaur Comics in which a fan of the strips (who is also teaching English in South Korea) gave his students blank templates of the comic, and had them fill in the words. The link is now dead so I can't submit them to you for your consideration, but believe me-- they were awesome.

OBVIOUSLY I had to do this myself. While my results were far less morbid (his students were middle-schoolers, mine are six-year-olds), the final products were pretty awesome. Here are some of my faves. A transcript of each is below, and click on the images for a closer look:


BY THOMAS:

-Where are my glasses?
-I think the dinosaur ate my glasses.
-Did you ate my glasses?
-No I don't.
-Whoisit
-I'm a raptor.
-Do you play the games
-Yes I do
-Good bye little dinosaur



BY GINA:

-This peach is ymmy
-I agree!
-My friend ate my peach!
-OK.
-....
-Me too.
-OK.
-Thank you peach
-my peach is NO!



BY ERIC:

-who eat my food
-I'm angry.
-YOU
-no.
-.....
-WAIT!
-why
-....
-HHH (meaning hahaha)



BY JANE:

-Hi, my name is Rino. I will go to 2009.
-Let's go!
-I will step this house
-?
-Crowww
-(music notes, he is singing)
-Who are you?
-I am tino
-2009 was good.



BY ELLEN:

-I'm happy
-I'm SO happy
-Tony has a beAutiful girL I<3U
-Thank you tony
-Hello my baby
-Hello my babby
-Help me
-ok
-goodbye



BY GINA AGAIN (she likes peaches)

-Where is my peach
-I'm angry!
-did you eat my peach
-I'm NO
- :(
- Wait, David.... I'm hungry. I eat peach.
-OH NO!




BY JULIET:

-I'm happy
-I'm not friend
-Hello! friend play
-I'm not your friend
-.....
-I'm monster
-surprised!
- .....
- My friend!

AWWW SNAP

소녀시대(Girls Generation) have done it again. This song is TNT... and the video is really fucking awesome.



Sooyoung got a sexy new haircut. This propels her to #1 in my book.

peep the new website layout here

Priscilla Ahn

She's been doing well for about a year, but today's the first time for me. When I heard her last name, my ears perked up. When I heard her voice, they eargasmed.

Ok, so Priscilla Ahn doesn't exactly have anything to do with South Korea. But her mom is from South Korea, making her of Korean descent, so THERE!



Basically, what Rachael Yamagata is to Japan, this lovely lady is to SoKo. Normally I don't care for acoustic girl music bound to end up on the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack, but she's just really fucking talented.

edit: she actually was on the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack already. shit.

hey korea brb

making a quick trip to america for my sister's wedding. need anything from texas?

BUKHAN KILLAZ

ok, so i was bored at work today. so I started a hip-hop ensemble consisting of my Korean 6-year old class. They'll be known as the Bukhan Killaz (Bukhan is North Korea). Word to your moms, they came to drop bombs all over the Korean peninsula.





My babies are the greatest thing to happen to Korean Hip-Hop since The EV Boyz.

Town full of drunkies.

Tuesday was Erik Teacher's birthday, so we go to Rocky Mountain Tavern in Itaewon for 30-cent wing night (300 won, that is). Once the night ended (mind you, this is a Tuesday at 10:30pm), I climbed out of my subway exit only to find these two dapper Korean gentlemen fondly cuddling upon one another in the summer breeze. The police were on the way to poke 'em with a stick. I simply HAD TO document the occasion:





In Korean, I'm asking the guy, "Hey, big brother, are you alright?" The only response I got before the police come at the end of the video is a hand-motion to "dude, just let me sleep". I know that feeling all too well.

The Annyeong Song

I love the kids in my class in a really big way. I was lucky enough to catch them singing a song on their way home last Friday. This song is about saying "Goodbye!" to the teacher as they leave for the day. CUTE x5000

seoul grand park, one mo' time

Headed back to Seoul Grand Park with Chris and Abi last week, and it was PHENOMENAL because I didn't have to stick to a ridiculous itinerary provided by my school. I mean honestly, the field trip was so rushed, the children (nor me) had the opportunity to enjoy all these bomb-ass [sic]aminals. This time, I got to see EVERYTHING, and it was so much better.

I did, however, witness something kind of sad. When we got to the tiger pen, there was a bit of a ruckus about. Apparently one of the tigers was injured, as he either jumped or fell off a fifteen foot wall into the barrier pit below. They had to sedate him with a FUCKING BLOWGUN and hoist his little butt outta there on a stretcher. It was frowny faces all around, see for yourself:



is it just me, or do the other tigers seem to show concern for the well-being of their little brother?

Shanaenae is big in Korea

So I went to Yongsan this weekend with Gina, Chris, Abi, and Casey. Yongsan is the big electronics market in Seoul. This means there are hundreds of booths, side by side, selling the exact same electronics as the ones next to them. With all this competition, they MUST be willing to haggle. Down the road from the main electronics mall is a strip of booths selling black market dvd's. For about 35 dollars American, I bought the first four seasons of Lost (a $200 value?), Zach & Miri Make a Porno and My Sassy Girl (I dunno, some movie Casey wanted). This is not the point of the story. The point is, this booth had everyyyyything. New movies, classic cinema, and every season of every TV series imaginable. This includes:

-Martin
-Perfect Strangers
-The Greatest American Hero
-Dr. Who (new and old)
-A Different World (Remember Whitley? That terrible Southern accent?!?)
-The Wayans Brothers Show
-Roc
-Every incarnation of CSI, NCIS and Law&Order
-all 658 seasons of the Simpsons/South Park
-Get Smart
-Growing Pains

I assume I'll have a suitcase full of pirated DVD-R's upon my return to America.

Lock up all the whities

Apparently an outbreak of Swine Flu has hit the foreigner population of South Korea, specifically in Seocho (where Casey lives, and where we celebrated Iwona's birthday this weekend). So far, 50 or so English teachers have been quarantined for the next 10 days in some hospital in Seocho-dong. No contact with the outside world, and apparently life there resembles a modern-day Lord of The Flies. Schools are starting to shut down, and as they figure out who the quarantined teachers have had contact with, those people will be quarantined too. I've met up with soooo many white people this weekend, and in that specific "hot zone", I'm bound to be locked up. Don't worry, no flu symptoms.... yet.

PS: Cue my mom's unnecessary freak-out.

Here's a blog on tumblr written by one of the quarantined teachers, and updated every few hours. It's great... you can really follow their descent into cabin fever:

UNDER QUARANTINE

I know what lies in the shadow of the statue

Just a quick post... last night we all went out to Hongdae for Iwona's birthday. I was wearing my black Richard Alpert shirt. Cory, it's the one we both own with the little strappies on the shoulders and sleeves. We went to Jane's Groove for dancing, and as I was going downstairs from outside, a group of brosephs were coming up the stairs. One of 'em under his breath says "Holy shit, it's Richard Alpert!". I immediately turn around and tap him on the shoulder and say "Did you just call me Richard Alpert?", and he says, "Yeah but it's a good thing, Richard's awesome." And I say "OBVIOUSLYYYYY".

I eat so much fruit now!

Consider the honeymoon period over. At long last I've hit my stride, all my ducks are in their rows, all my kittens with their mittens. Apparently getting a microwave and health insurance were the last two pieces to the puzzle, because now that they're in my possesh, I'm content.

I actually have groceries in my apartment, I'm cooking meals for one (mixed blessing?), and the dishes are done, man.

I just bought a tennis racquet, and I have a daily game @5:30pm with co-worker Stephen. I'm signing up for hot yoga this week.

My walls are no longer barren; I constructed a mural in the shape of Texas with photos from home. It's mostly former Austinites, but a few new and old friends snuck in as well....



I'm not satisfied with how the Big Bend area turned out, and El Paso juts out a little too far, but I'll shape it over the next few weeks with more pictures.

Friends, I'm finally at home.

Happy Teachers' Day

Traditionally a holiday where parents bribe their children's teachers to either pay them special attention, or be lenient on their grades if worse comes to worst. This would never work in America; children and their parents don't care a tenth as much about education as these Koreans.

Basically, everyone writes their teacher a card saying "Thank you so much for your teaching, I love you! -Sally" ...or some cutesy derivative of that. Then they give you a present. It could range from candy to a $200 bottle of cologne. My presents this year include:

- cake from a famous hotel bakery
- a platter of traditional rice cake (떡)
- $50 worth of ClarinsParis face wash, aftershave, and "anti-fatigue" cream
- $40 bottle of Biotherm face wash
- 3 jars of hand-picked green tea
- 3 Pierre Cardin handkerchiefs
- 3 sets of dress socks from Elle Homme
- 4 (kind of awesome) Korean t-shirts
- a box of (what I'm told is) super-expensive chocolate
- a pen that looks like a rose
- a myriad of roses and carnations
- a gift set from the Body Shop, including "cooling foot spray" (awesome y/n?)
- delicious delicious butter cake
- a Jeju Island orange (better than it sounds, yummiest orange in the world)
- a huge stack of devastatingly adorable letters which I will keep forever in a small-yet-treasured wooden box until the day I die, and upon the carrying out of my last requests listed in my will, my family and friends will give me a viking's funeral and use the aforementioned letters to ignite my ceremonial pyre, in which my mortal coil shall burn with the love and awesomeness of Korean five-year olds. The pillars of fire will be seen for miles.

And in other news, today from my school I finally received:
- a microwave
- health insurance


AND HOLY SHIT DID YOU SEE LOST?

1's and 2's

Been a week without a post, I sincerely apologize.

This past weekend I finally got to dj over at Club FF. I stilllll don't have an audio controller (if you love me buy me this!), so I wasn't actually able to mix and cue songs properly. That being said, saying I use the term "DJ" in the 1950's sense of the word: the guy at the sock-hop who puts on all the records. No wicky-wicky from me, unfortunately.

Anywho, I was on the ground floor of FF, which is something kind of new. They've opened it up a bit and now there's tables and a little dancefloor. From outside the club, you normally can't hear any music from the main dance area downstairs, or see any people on the first level. So face value for the inexperienced, this club might suck. Long story short, I got a few people dancing, but my primary job was to play music for people to hear from the street outside, and draw them in. And judging by the crowd, I'd say I did that. It was packeddddd and I dj'ed til 6am, ate a kebap, and got home around 7am. Management said they liked what I did and want to keep me coming on the regular. So if it turns out teaching sucks, maybe I can get a Korean visa in another profession?

Korean Shit #2: 화장실 (the bathroom)

Time for my second installment of "Korean Shit" ...this time it's literal.

Hi Seoul

A holiday is gonna break this workweek up nicely. Children's Day is on May 5th, which means no school/work for Mikey. Coincidentally, that's also Cinco De Mayo, so I think Margaritas and Fajitas are quite necessary.

Around this time of year, there's always the big Hi Seoul Festival, which is basically just a big week of cultural events around the city hall area. We went today, and along the way, I found some stuff I think someone back home would enjoy:

NEWS FLASH

911 in South Korea is 119.

That is all.

Seoul Grand Park

went to the zoo today, and it goes a little something like this:














fucking great day.

in other news...

Some (drunkkk) old Korean man looked at me and said, "get the fuck out of this noraebang, and get the fuck out of this country" to me. It was in Korean, so I don't know if that made it more or less threatening.

He pushed me, I asked him if he was sad, and the owner of the place called the police THE END!

Recovery Day

Hate to bore you with a recap post... but I'm gonna.

I feel like I've been running a marathon for the past 24 hours. But it was worth it. It was the type of Saturday night/Sunday morning you can't replicate in the USA. Let me give you the play-by-play:

-Mahya, Iwona and I met Erik at 7:30pm in Sinchon (not to be confused with Sincheon or Sinchang or Sinchon-dong!) for an English-speaking meet 'n greet at the Double Double Pub. 15,000 won, and all-you-can-drink beer. The place got packed pretty quickly, and the general mood of the place was "OMG you speak English? Me too! Gimme your phone number and we'll get drinks sometime!" I collected like six numbers from various individiuals. I definitely plan on hanging out with John and Fernando; they were a couple of moderately awesome Korean dudes.

-Iwona and I left mid-party at 9pm to get some real dinner. We found a Dwejji Galbi (marinated pork barbecue, ridiculously nom nom) restaurant that was 2,500 won a person! Tasted great, and an incredible price. Definitely going back.

-I invited my old co-worker Bryston to the meet 'n greet. He comes at 10pm with his friend Eric. They'll stick with us all night. I've really missed that guy, and I'm grateful to have him back in my life. Is that gay? Probably.

-The Sinchon party ends, and the 8 of us --including some new friends we met at the party-- cab it over 5 minutes to Hongdae. Laura Ann subways up from Anyang and meets us there. Hongdae is the university area where I spend most of my weekend time. You'll hear plenty about Hongdae from me in the coming months. Clubs and restaurants everywhere, and a good portion of the people there don't suck. Here's where it gets blurry...

11:45 - Club 500 - Trance club designed like an adobe kiva. Their "nachos" were tortilla chips with Kraft American Singles torn into pieces on them. Not even melted. Drinks be spensive!

12:45 - Ska 2 - Sucked. Ska 1 is better.

12:50 - Club Voldemort - it used to have a name when I was here a couple years ago, but now it's a new club without any signs. It's underground, small and intimate. Cheap drinks and good dance music. Henceforth I call it Club Voldemort, the club which shall not be named.

2:00 - Club Oi - Kind of like Club 500, but designed like an igloo and they were playing crappy salsa music.

3:00 - GoGo's - the bar above FF; plays great music but it's crowded and has a high concentration of dipshits and drunkasses.

4:30 - Club FF - The place I usually end up, and the place where I'm trying to get some DJ work. It's not quite as cool as it used to be in 2007, but it's still my favorite, especially after 1:00 when it's dancey time. Eddie picks good music when he DJs.

6:00 - Go outside to see the sun is up, get a chicken kebab from a couple of Pakistanis, and I talk to them about the son of Benazir Bhutto. They say he isn't ready, and they're loyal to Sharif. I'd say they're fucking retarded, but they're the Pakistanis and I'm not, so I guess they know more than me. Nevertheless, they were impressed with my drunken knowledge of international politics.

6:30 - The subway is finally open again! Much better to stay out til 6:30am and take the subway for 1,200 won instead of dropping 30,000 won on a long cab ride. So we start the trek to the subway station. At this point, we've lost our friends one by one along the way. It's down to me, Iwona, Laura Ann, and her new friend Albert. Albert's cool. And Mexican. After a few drunk piggyback races down the barren, littered streets of Hongdae, we lose Albert and Laura Ann, too. Iwona and I decide we're hungry, and I know a good brunch place in Itaewon. We grab a cab there, only to find it doesn't open til 9am. We're already there, so why not wait? Little did we realize how long a three-hour wait would be. We found a dirty stairwell and sat down. Thirty seconds later I'm passed out asleep.

8:00am - I woke up on the stairs an hour and a half later. Still another hour til breakfast opens. I was in pretty rough shape. Fuck this noise, let's go home.

9:00am - Fell asleep again on the subway. I had to be poked awake by some Korean strangers when the train hit its last stop. Finally home, I stumble out of the Indeogwon subway station. I don't remember going to bed, but I wake up at 3pm in my clothes and shoes. Leftover pizza and the latest episode of Lost, these were my only accomplishments today.

I certainly won't be doing this type of thing on a regular basis. I doubt I'll even go up to Seoul next weekend. I can't afford it and my body can't handle that abuse. But every once in a while, it's nice to go out in a big way. Snoop Dogg partied til 6 in the mornin', why can't I?

Korean Shit #1: 노래방/Noraebang

I'm starting a series of installments entitled "Korean Shit". It's for people who have no connection whatsoever to the Korean culture or country. Basically I'll show you all the ridiculous/awesome/unique/disgusting/incredible things you can find in no other place but Seoul.

For those of you who aren't familiar with 노래방/Noraebang, I feel as though I should explain it. Because I'm going to write about it. A lot.

It's like karaoke, but don't call it that. "Karaoke" is a Japanese word, and Koreans hate their eastern neighbors. Besides, karaoke is what you do on a stage in front of strangers. But even that is called "Norae Bar" and not "Karaoke" in South Korea.

In Korean, 노래(norae) is "sing", and 방(bang) is "room".

Take your typical karaoke setup, and shove it in a private room with couches, a coffee table, some ashtrays and a couple of tambourines. Rotating disco lights come standard. You can order beer, juice, tea, soda and water. They don't sell soju, but you always sneak a couple bottles of it in your bag. I recently discovered Koreans don't do this, and were flabbergasted at the notion of me or my friends doing it. It had never crossed her mind to do such a thing. Leave it to us foreigners to wreck shop on etiquette. I was kind of shocked to hear this; Koreans are always looking for an excuse to drink. My kind of people.

Whatever you do in SoKo, there's bound to be drinking. An easy way to describe any activity here is "drinking with __________." In this case, a brief definition of noraebang is "drinking with microphones". For 15,000 Korean Won an hour ($12USD/hr), you can sing off-key with your friends and/or co-workers, and be plastered enough not to care.

In South Korea, and in any Koreatown in the world, you are bound to find a bevy of noraebangs on every street. In Seoul & Anyang, the number of noraebangs in any given 500-foot radius easily outnumber your fingers and toes. For example, I've circled in yellow the noraebangs on my old street:



Many have themed interiors, whether it's to look like a medieval castle or a spaceship. My favorite has an entrance shaped like the mouth of a demon.

As a living testament to what it's like inside a noraebang, here's a (really) rough excerpt from a recent noraebang excursion. Bear in mind this is after 5 bottles of soju, a bottle of wine and a handle of Jack.



It's highly addictive. You've been warned.

Cherries not included

At the start of every spring, Seoul goes completely apeshit for the annual Cherry Blossom Festival held in 여의도 (Yeouido), which is a little island floating in the Han River. They've thrown a bunch of skyscrapers (including the mega-shiny 63 Building) in the center of the island, and built a waterside park around the circumference. When it's not under construction, it really is beautiful.

Now last time I was in SoKo, I didn't get to experience the spring-ing of spring. I left before all this hullabaloo. Now I understand why they love these trees so much. Apparently, they're completely barren for most of the year. Then all at once, like they had an arborial meeting about it, they blossom like CRAZY, and the whole city is white and pink. As one Korean man told me at the festival, "THIS IS FANTAZY WORLD!", and I have to agree. Another thing I learned is that after about two weeks, all the petals fall within a couple days, shroud the streets and sidewalks with good-smelling whiteness, then it goes back to being plain ol' green.

It really is a gorgeous break from this concrete jungle. Seoul has parks, of course, but for the most part it's people on top of apartment buildings on top of people on top of noraebangs.

I was never one for flowers; they were always good at letting girls know they're special, but I didn't care for them myself. I always thought they just smelled like vegetables. But once the cherry blossoms disappear after this weekend, I just might miss 'em a little.

I'M PAID, SON!

I got my first paycheck today in cash. 2,700,000 Korean Won, and the largest denomination is a 10,000 bill. this means FAT STAX. I'm a millionaire (technically).

vom vom vom

One of my kids threw up on Friday. We were just wrapping up a birthday party, when she ran out of the gym with her hand to her mouth. I knew the face she was making. It was the "Oh shit, I'm not going to make it" face.

Of course when I catch up to her in the hallway, she has puke stains on her vest and pants, and there's a Pollock-esque work of liquid art on the floor. How this girl had this much partially-digested food inside her, I'll never know. No wonder it exploded out of her.

After giving her the attention she needed, I cleaned up the mess, no questions asked. Hands and knees with little wads of toilet paper. Normally, I have a very sensitive gag reflex. I actually make throw-uppy faces quite often, to the chagrin of a certain emetophobe I know. But on this day, I didn't gag once. I was more worried about the girl. Does this mean I love her like a parent? I mean, good moms and dads don't fret about stinky diapers and vomit; they love their kids so much they just wanna take care of 'em. It's a weird feeling. If Korea changes my mind about not having kids, I'll be very upset. I had a great spontaneous and self-centered life planned out, and my little girl or boy is gonna throw a wrench in it. Well hmmph!

PS: This particular sample of vomit was no picnic. For breakfast the girl ate kimchi, and when she got to school, she drank two cartons of milk and ate a bunch of dried sardines (our school provides these as a morning snack). I can't think of a worse combination to taste or smell.

Went to the World Cup qualifying match between South Korea and North Korea The Democratic People's Republic of Korea. It was intense. "Intense" doesn't really describe it. If I'm confined to text-based emotions, I suppose I would use INTENSE!!!

I saw 김연아 (Kim Yeon Ah) at halftime. Currently, she's the national darling of SoKo; the world's best figure skater and Beijing gold medalist. I felt the entire stadium swoon.

South Korea won. It was rad. That is all.

Everyone knew this was much more than just a soccer game. World Cup fans are pumped enough, but played between sister nations, sociopolitically dissected at the 38th... you got yourself a fucking bloodbath.

Needless to say, we got drunk. At sporting events in Korea, you can bring snacks and beverages from home, and basically make a picnic out of it. Outside the stadium, old ladies have tables set up where they sell soju, beer and giant squid jerky (오징어... it tastes like it sounds). If you could buy little handles of vodka and whisky at a UT Football game or a Dallas Stars game, Texas would be a much sweeter place. That's just the way I see it.

Obligatory video montage:

Field Trip

Last Friday we went to the National Science Museum in Gwacheon, which is like 15 minutes away from the school. It was awesome. Here's a taste of what me and the babies saw:



The music is from Mount Righteous, the best band to come out of Dallas-Fort Worth.
Check 'em out here, and buy their album!

Government Screening Results:

Name: 마이키 (pronounced "ma-ee-kee" or "Mikey")
Height: 171.7cm
Weight: 60.4kg
Blood Type: A+
Blood Pressure: 118/72
Colorblindness: none
Vision: 15/15
Hearing: normal
HIV: negative
Cholesterol: normal
Illegal Drugs: negative
Chest X-Ray: no abnormalities
Psych Screening: not crazy

Where Everybody Knows Your Name Race

Normally in Korea, when I'm without the foreign teachers I work with (meaning Westerners, not Koreans), I see maybe one non-Korean a day if I'm lucky. This is a huge jump from the one or so a week I'd see last time I was in SoKo. Regardless, every foreigner here secretly knows the little tinge of excitement when you see another wayguken ('foreigner' or 'outsider' in Korean... that's what they call us). Sometimes you can't help but wave at the stranger.

There's an area in Seoul where this is definitely not the case. It's quite the opposite, actually. I don't know how it started, but Itaewon became the foreigner hangout neighborhood a while back. I assume it's because it's relatively close to a US military base. Last weekend, I went there for the first time ever. This was on purpose. Some foreigners go there every weekend (some twice or three times a weekend), but I wanted nothing to do with it. It's full of sorority girls and G.I. meatheads, and a bunch of drunken bullshit occurs which I want nothing to do with. Austinites, think of The Aquarium or The Library on 6th Street and expand it by ten city blocks. Sick.

Besides, I'm in Korea, and I wanna feel like I'm in Korea. So why take out all the Koreans? That cultural clash is the kimchi spice of my life right now.

Anywho, so I get taken there (practically by force) by some friends, and all those months I avoided this part of town like the plague.... you know what I actually came to find out? I was absolutely right. This place sucks. There is very little evidence of awesomeness anywhere. I tried a street meat vendor while walking around, and it was really delicious, but then again it was run by an old Korean lady (call them "ajumas"), so I can't even credit that to the whiteys in Itaewon.

Without further ado, here's a bunch of white people getting boozed up in Seoul... click the "HQ" for better sound/video:

Fridays Are Good Days.

Here's a little video of my Friday at work. God I love these little Asian babies.

I have a new addiction

K-Pop (short for Korean Pop, of course) has always had its revolving door of cutesy girl groups-- for example, The Wonder Girls.

But upon returning to Korea, I've been hearing a new song alllll over the place. It's called "Gee" and it's by Girls Generation (소녀시대 in Korean). Apparently it was featured on Perez Hilton. It's catchy catchy catchy. You have to check it out. Right now.



This one's better than any American pop song I've heard in a while, with the exception of Kelly Clarkson. The 9 girls in the group are 18-21, and they're all ridiculously gorgeous. It's really difficult to pick a favorite. So far I think it's Yoona. But as for the beat's pretty damn infectious. When you've got the bass going, it's fucking sick. My current mission is to learn the song in Korean so I can sing it at noraebang. If I accomplish my goal, I'll post a video of it.

Here's their homepage, pick your favorite!

The Lollypop Guild Dance

An Ode To Hongdae

Last night I went out with fellow teachers Mahya and, well, let's call him "new guy", to Hongdae. Hongdae is a big university district in Seoul, where a bunch of clubs, bars and restaurants are located. Last time I was in Korea, I'd go there every weekend. It gets pretty damn crunk.

When we first arrived, I took them to my favorite bar in all of Korea, Bar 다 (which is pronounced Bar-Da, a play on "bada" which in Korean means "the sea"). It's incredibly small and secluded, kind of run down and dark, only big enough for 8-10 customers, but they play great music and I find it pretty fucking charming. After one drink, I could tell they kinda liked it, but it really wasn't their scene. They wanted to GET DOWN. Time to move on.

Then we got Korean barbecue (Dwejji Galbi to be exact, which is marinated pork rib). It was incredibly delicious, as always. A few bottles of soju/beer later, we went to Brickx down the road and smoked hookah. Apple. Yumz. Next we met up with LEAH FREAKIN FILLION at Club FF, and listened to some crap cover band for a bit. Following this, we headed to Tinpan 1, which I thought would be more Mahya and new guy's scene.

Sorry for the "and then, and then, and next," format of this, but here's the point of my story:

New guy made an ass of himself.

He's been in Korea for 18 hours. He got off the plane, went to the school, then left with us to go downtown. Really nice guy, but man, that soju tore him up. I'm not going to hold this against his character, because I've been there before. Actually, I was there Tuesday. But boy was it not fun dragging his drunk ass around!

At Tinpan, he saw a couple of Korean girls dancing-- and dancing quite well, I must say-- on the bar. Of course he decided to get up there and join them. His dance consisted of pelvic thrusts and self-body caressing. Then he got the wonderful idea of jumping up to grab the fire sprinkler pipe above him, and hang from it. He swung his legs up and tried to get them wrapped around the pipe, I guess so he could be upside down and continue to dance, but the ENTIRE packed bar shouted WTF! in either Korean or English. The bartenders and security rush over to pull him down and get him out, but before they can, he loses his grip on the pipe and falls. Hits the bar. Hits the barstool. Hits people. Hits the floor.


He got up and dusted himself off, and everyone's laughing at him. Then he dropped this line on me: "Dude, I'm totally not gay, but wouldn't it be awesome if we made out???"

Then he kissed me.

Ummmmm nice to meet you, new guy.

It's Getting Better All The Time

Right now it's Friday morning at 7am. For the record, Korea is 15 hours ahead of Texas. Let me tell ya, the future is awesome.

Today completes my first week as a kindergarten teacher in Anyang, a suburb of Seoul. "Suburb" is such a tricky word to use here, because when the city-proper is as big as Seoul, the suburbs are roughly the size of Manhattan. As far as city planning, nothing grows outward, only upward. It's rare to see a one-story building. I'll get some pictures of this up pretty soon.

My school is incredibly disorganized as far as handling the influx of new teachers. There's about ten of us, with only three veteran teachers. None of us had apartments (I'm still living in a Love Motel, but more on that later), half the teachers walked off the plane Monday and were driven directly to their classroom to start teaching, and we still haven't gotten Alien Registration Cards or health insurance. Not to mention on top of all this, we're supposed to be writing lesson plans for the entire month, due ASAP. I teach an English coursebook to 5 and 6 year olds for most of the day. They're absolutely adorable. I cannot stress this enough. Expect about a zillion videos of my little asian babies saying cute things.

As I said before, I'm in a Love Motel. This is something you find all over Seoul... it's a motel that's very cheap (some rent by the hour), and men bring their mistresses here to go to bonertown. Also, in Korean culture you're supposed to live at home with your parents til you get married, so if you and your girlfriend wanna bang, then a Love Motel is the place to be. I get to hear lots of interesting things through the ultra-thin walls of my hotel room. My bed has neon green lights. When I checked in, I was handed a free condom and a toothbrush. Awesome.

Although I have a ton of things to dislike about my current situation, I gotta say I've met some really great people at my school, I'm already seeing a shitload of progress in my little babies' English, and the stir of confusion is growing smaller by the day. I think I'm in a good place.

Pre-Flight Confusementation

After a bit of a struggle, I finally got my E-2 Visa from the Korean Consulate in Houston. The woman running the counter was kind of callous. After speaking with my recruiter, who basically acts as a liaison between me and the school, I found out I'd be flying Friday morning, but no further details than that. It's Thursday afternoon, and I JUST got my flight information. The passenger name on the ticket??? Mr. Lee Jae Hyung. What the shit.

Furthermore, I just got pictures sent to me by said recruiter of an apartment. The apartment belongs to one of the current teachers, and mine won't look exactly like it, but it gives me an idea of the caliber of domicile I should expect. Here's what I got (click to enlarge):

Not as good as my last place, but I think it'll suit me just fine. As long as there's a bed and a shower, I'm really tough to disappoint. Actually, now that I think of it I'd kind of prefer a crappy apartment to a fancy loft. That way I can fake bohemianism!

I'll post a little something as soon as I unpack and survey my neighborhood. Expect plenty of pictures, video and long-winded anecdotes in the future!